just all about her

Every time you come home you always speak about her, i dont care about her, but you do alot, then why are you with me? cause she has a boyfriend? cause your with me? well they are problems easily fixed... i cant take it any more its always about another girl -.-'''

i dont know if i should be worried... i am worried, ALOT!!! cause your mine and i care, no i dont care, yes i do, i dont know anymore i am confussed about alot of things, your hot and cold. Maybe im just crazy like you said, i have problems like you said... im not the one for you right??? then stop acting like you are. Just be with her, i cant take this pain any more, i felt the spark once before then i lost it again, maybe its gone forever this time... i am scared, there is noone i can talk to about this, i cant talk to you cause you will just laugh it off, i know you will, cause this subject has been brought up before... and it will always end up in a fight, im loosing i know i am, but this is me, you have seen every emotion possible even ones i didnt know i had, and now i just feel vunerable, you taught me how to soar, how to reach my dreams, i trusted you and now i feel hurt and empty, maybe i am just crazy like you said, but i am curious on how much you actually care about me.... how is she so special, what can she do that i cant?? can she make you smile like i do... i guess she makes you smile more then i ever could... i remember the times where i would look at you and you would smile instantly, but now, maybe, its forced. you know it makes me happy... why are you trying to keep me happy for? you dont care, you couldnt care less... im just nothing to you, thats how it is... thats how it always will be. I cant keep it in, but i am soooo scared to tell you how i feel... i want you to magically know but then again i cant

Things are getting to obvious

Some things arent the same anymore... I dont think I can trust anyone, I am always moody... WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME???

I need someone to catch to, anyone??? please leave your email here and I will write to you personally, I warn you I will not hold anything back... and i guess you dont have to reply, actually I lied I would love it if I go a reply (:

Okayy sooo uhmm nothing new is really happening to me I have my crappy sleeping pattern again and it is frustrating... I want to sleep but I cant...


URGH i am going for a smoke

night/ morning all

I FEEL LIKE PULLING ALL MY HAIR OUT

These last couple of days has been horrible, I dont think I can cope with this anymore, I need a way out, but just sitting here isnt going to get me anywhere... I am sick of fighting wit everyone I don have enough strength to fight anymore, I am just plainly giving up... I need someone who will fight with me cause this is way to much for me to take by myself... I just want to escape, will someone be my hero, is someone out there listening to me? Is someone planning on taking me away and make me feel safe, whisper in my ears saying that everything is okayy

One day i will find my hero, one day I will never feel like this again...
Am i just a stupid teenager wishing on stupid hopes and dreams, i wish i knew all the answers, but then that wouldnt be living.

NEW NEWS

well i had a miscarriage and i told my mother and she thinks i had an abortion. Then she is getting up me... doesnt she realise that i am hurting to... she is upset for the fact that she cant have another baby in her hands, and i cant help that.

I am not going to run around after her to make her happy anymore she doesnt realise all the stuff i am going through and when i do try to speak to her it turns into a fight and then i dont hear from her for another few months and that is not fair on me at all... My father doesnt talk to me anymore cause i told him not to, cause he was to immature and called me names, if my parents cant be there for me then who will???

I am in a bad mood and its pretty much affected my social life and i am not getting anywhere.
*sighs*
Teenagers life style is pretty hard when nothing seems to be going right..... i wish i was young again cause the only thing i had to worry about was making sure my ice cream didnt melt before i ate it.

I need my guitar so badly I need to vent some emotion out, and i cant do that without a guitar... i dont really have anyone to speak to anymore.
I did have a friend but he accussed me of things i could never do in my life and that was 9 years down the drain... why would he do that??? He is just a bloody asshole, and i hope he reads this cause he is the stalker type...

Well thats all for now until i have more to write
speak to you soon (:

a song for you

this is a song i wrote... its only a template... tell me what you think...


only 17 and she cries in her sleep
that one painful thought forever imprinted in her memory
"HELP" she screams in her head but only she can hear the screams.
No one to save her but herself

only 17

Now all alone in her thoughts
only one thing crosses her mind
why her? why me?

That one painful thought forever imprinted in her memory to watch over and over again
why me she pleads
on her hands and knees
what did i do so bad for this to happen to me
Only 17

FRUSTRAITED!!!

okay for all you that haven't figured this out but i have a boyfriend... and he plays WOW!!! and it annoys me, i sit here doing nothing because i am bored out of my brains. I give him the silent treatment but that doesn't work... I hate to say this but i don't like spending time with him anymore.

FINALLY went out today.. took some photos...
oh and the rain stopped... it is horrible, so hot and muggy. I miss you rain please come back!!!

Found out that mum might wanna move to Melbourne that got me pretty upset and i don't wanna move... not that far away, beside we wont know anyone and i hate starting from scratch

I have a follower i got uber excited (: and thank you for following
well i am tired stayed up till 2 this morning
so i am going to catch some z's

INSIDE THOUGHTS!

I feel alone for some reason even though i am surrounded by people, but they dont know what i am going through and i am not ready to tell them the pain i am suffering. I dont have any followers yet but my family knows i have this and they might look so sorry guys i am not going to tell you, not yet, not till i am ready.
i am listening to chase coy something that suits my mood at the moment.

earlier on today the power went out and there was thunder!! OMFG oh how much i hate thunder.
watched smoking aces today... 1&2 all i can say is that number 1 is hell a lot better then number 2.

im getting into editing, i have photoshop 7.0 and i tell you its so simple once you figure out the simple things... there is a few things i need to learn still but i am getting there.
if your lucky i will put them up ^_^ but that's only if your lucky

well i am sorry this is all for now


Much love
Krystine a.k.a MOUSEYx